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part 1 - resolve to change

When I was pregnant with Briar I did pretty good weight wise... until I got put on bed rest. At which point I packed on the pounds like a squirrel packs away nuts for winter. I was well over my recommended 25-35 lbs. Instead of eating healthier I just kept telling myself that breastfeeding would take those extra pounds right off. 

postpartum pt1.jpg

This family picture was taken a few months after Briar was born. It might not look like I had a weight problem to anyone else, but I was so different (i.e. heavier) than I was before that I had a problem with myself. 

Then I had Briar but did not ever really lose the baby weight. I exercised some and, "tried," to eat better but in reality I just made a bunch of excuses. I knew that my husband and I would have another child and I had ZERO motivation because all the squish was inevitable with another baby. I was not committed. I read a lot of blogs encouraging new mothers not to stress about it, how to be comfortable with your body that grew a human, etc in an attempt to feel better about my self but nothing helped.

I got pregnant with Boone when Briar was about nine months old. (Which is a miracle for real because as self-conscious as I was there was not a whole lot of getting busy!) The weight gain was immediate and never ending. Not only that, but places in my body where I once had muscle were MUSH. During my pregnancy with Boone I dreaded that I was about to have those same feelings towards myself. I knew it was not healthy. I told my husband over and over that I had to make a lifestyle change and I did lots of research. I told everyone who would listen because I wanted to be accountable. 

I promise this story has a happy ending and a dose of inspiration if you find yourself in a similar boat - so keep reading the next two blogs!

Just to be clear, my husband was awesome. If he did not like all the changes that baby having caused for my body he never let on. He told me I was beautiful, and that it was an incredible that I grew a tiny human. Everyone in my circle was the same way. I did not have anyone shaming me or pressuring me to lose the weight (except for some mean teenagers at Target in the swimsuit section). My disgust with myself was entirely my own doing. 



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